On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
