your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
