Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
too bad you live with your parents still
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize