Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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