You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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