she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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