I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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