We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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