I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
