even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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