Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
