i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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