Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
