Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
