So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
