you turned your livingroom into a bong?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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