I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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