you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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