He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
