I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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