Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
