Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You need Xanax blowdarts
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
