I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
