Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
