Having a random hookup so left but love u
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
