i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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