we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
