My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
