and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
