the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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