I puked a lego.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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