Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
