I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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