i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
