ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
