Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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