i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Randomize
