I could have mohawked her pubes.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
