So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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