he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
