I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
