he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
