I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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