Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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