we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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