she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
