Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Come share oat with me in your robe
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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