best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
