More tranny stories later!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
