yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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