drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
